R.I.P?
A Short Story by Carolina Toca
Hello, my name is Carmen. Well, I was Carmen once, now I´m
dead. I´m lost. They just stole my body. Can anybody hear me?
Anyways, this is my story. This is how I ended up here. And
this is how I am going to get out of this.
They do not know I´m sitting in the truck.
I´m wondering what they would do to me when they find me? I´m wondering if they
give me back to my family? Well, maybe not, that would mean they need to give
back the truck and they would think what´s the point? We just stole it, we need
to sell it, we need the money, this is a classic 1983 Jimmy GMC, which means is
good money. But we definitely do not need the dead grandma inside it.
They would probably be afraid of me,
I guess, who wouldn´t? Well, I´m not a beauty queen at this age, but I´m dead
so that would probably scare most of people. At least I tried to be a neat old
lady, wearing tights with nice floral dresses and taking regular showers, most
of people of my age don´t, you probably know that.
But maybe these guys are accustomed
to dead people; I guess they are, good people do not steal, right? Just sneaky
bad fellows who would consider stealing the truck of a very nice family on
their trip, without even caring how the hell they are going to get back home.
Just sneaky bad fellows would steal the body of a grandma. For God´s sake I´m a
grandma! Who the hell steal a dead grandma!?
Calm down Carmen, remember, they
didn´t know you were here, they didn´t know you were dead, so, do not be so
hard with them. If you look twice, they don´t look so bad, I mean, think about
it, they could be any of your grandsons. They are pretty much the same age than
Carlitos, and even the taller one looks alike to Pancho. And knowing your
grandsons, they probably would be in the same situation in a near future.
What? Are you kidding me? Are you
nuts Carmen? Are you trying to make excuses for their behaviour? That´s so
typical of you! You are definitely a grandma, naïve and always looking for best
in people, even those sneaky bad fellows. That´s why you are here! Because you
were too nice, because you never wanted to cause problems, always worrying
about others first, even when the doctor said you could die anytime, anywhere,
any moment, you didn´t want to tell your family because they would be
devastated, because you thought they couldn´t handle your sickness, they would
never recover losing you or watching you getting worse and worse.
Well, sure! They loved you so much
that they put you in the truck! Your lovely family hid your dead body in order
to pass the border without troubles, in order to not pay for a coffin outside
the country. What a lovely family you have! Well, you had! Because you are
dead! Your body is here, in the truck! Where they left you! And they… they are
probably celebrating that now they not even have to pay for a coffin in your
home land! That´s your beautiful family! The one you didn´t want to bother!
Oh… wait a minute… my home land! my city!
my friends! the rest of my family! … how are they going to justify my absence?
How are going to tell my sons and daughters I´m dead? How are going to tell
them they lost me? My dear God!!! I would pay to see their faces! Specially my older
son, my dear Ramirito, what would he say?
To be honest, he´s my favorite, I
love him so much! He is so smart. When the Major found out he was the brain of
the criminal band, he actually offered him a job position as a cop, “to clean
the city from scratches” as he used to say. And he did it! He is now the Chief
Police and an example for everyone. In my city you cannot move a foot without
Ramirito knowing about it, because he was so clever than he hired all his
fellows and together they “cleaned the city” from all the really bad fellows. He
put in jail the corruptor city councils, he supported the new generation of
cops giving them good salaries and more vacation days and he even created the
nursery for the children of women working as a cops, giving them the chance to
have split shifts to take care of the kids and the family at home. That is my
Ramirito, pure heart and soul. Ah, but do not let his smile fools you. He is sharp,
oh yep, he will find out your true intentions right away just looking at your
eyes.
Oh yes! My dear Ramirito! He is going
to rescue me! He is the only one that would rescue me! Even if my dump
grandsons tell everyone a crazy story, he eventually would find out the truth! Thank
God! I´m saved! I was actually beginning to feel desperate, I was actually
beginning to feel hopeless, but everything is going to be okay Carmen, calm
down, Ramirito is going to find you no matter what, he would not rest until he
sees you again, whatever it takes. Whatever it takes! you know that.
…
Life is funny, you know, one day you
just wake up to get ready for school, you go to the dining room and wait for
your mom´s breakfast: orange juice, scrambled eggs, arepa and a cup of good
coffee, not like the one you find today at coffee shops, I´m talking about the
one that with one smell wake you up and keep you moving all day long, that one.
These days’ coffee is a desert! They don´t respect the bean anymore.
Anyways, then, your next memory is
holding hands with a cute mulato boy,
listening him complaining about the shot he lost in the last soccer game, you
really don´t care but mom used to say, Carmen, pay attention and show interest,
a man would appreciate that. So I supported him saying it was just a bad day.
He smiled me back. That´s how I ended up pregnant again with my third kid,
Felipe. I just couldn´t resist Armando´s smile. Even though his fingers were
full of calluses for working hard on the fields, I got chills with just one
touch. I wasn´t looking for what I found, but I just fell in love with the way
he made me feel. He just knew how to be a father and a man.
So, when my Felipe was born, I said
to myself, Carmen, you just need to control yourself, you just need to learn to
say no. Because people know I would say yes to everything my family ask, especially
everything Armando ask for. When he said, my Carmencita, I want another kid,
maybe a girl this time, I said yes without even think twice, without even think
the risk that could cause to me. Doctors told me last time, Carmen, your condition
is quite delicate, and a next pregnancy could be really complicated. It really
was, I almost die, and my Felipe had to stay at the hospital the first three
months, but how my Armando used to tease me that he wanted a soccer team, I
thought, well, at least I´m going to give him almost a quarter and I would be
fine.
Therefore, my Felipe became the
spoiled one; he was so fragile, so weak, and so delicate than everybody would
think that even flu was dangerous for him.
As I said, life is funny, now that
I´m dead just small chapters of my life are clear, I don´t remember my wedding
day or my last meal, and since I was a housewife people would think that
besides watching my kids growing up I don´t have many great memories. I mean, I
don´t know how is a job interview, or being late the first day of work, or how
works dating guys, or get a college degree. But my life had a purpose, a
purpose that wasn´t exactly work for myself. My life was my family, and that
was more than enough for me.
I suppose that´s how I ended up here,
because I did everything for my family. I always said yes to all the crazy
ideas of my husband, kids and grandsons. I said yes to Carlitos and I crossed
the border with everybody for our annual trip. I should stay home; I should say
no or at least I should bring the meds with me. I wouldn´t be dead, I wouldn´t
be lost, I wouldn´t be waiting for those bad fellows to open the back door of
the truck and find me. It was my entire
fault.
Carmen! Enough! Wake up! Stop thinking
about the past, let´s be focus on the present, ok? No more remembrances for
now. You need to come back to your family, to your town, and since you are
dead, you need to get buried besides your lovely Armando and your parents, is
the least you can try to do. Is what you were waiting for, since the day you
knew you will die soon.
First of all, you need a plan in
order to get out of here, you need to make some noise; maybe they will hear you
and come to take a look. So, let´s see what is besides you, ok?
Ok. Ok.
Yep, that´s better…
Look! Over there! That´s your cane!
Why don´t you try to reach it? Come on, try!
Honestly Carmen? I can barely walk by
myself and you ask me to move and reach for my cane now that I´m dead? Be
serious please!
Come on Carmen, just try it, you were
just eighty-seven years old when you died, so, technically, you still had
strength to move your arms. Don´t be silly and just try.
Ok, ok, I´ll do it, but just because
I really want to get out of here. I am getting tired of talking to you… I mean,
to myself.
No, I can´t, I can´t reach it, it´s
too far, I am so exhausted and I´m freezing, this truck is so cold. I wish I
would be in Jose´s truck; at least that one has AC and heater. Why we brought
this old truck by the way?
Because is not safe to cross the
border with an expensive truck, anyone can steel it, don´t you see?
Please! They stole this piece of
cheap stainless steel truck! So at the end, it wasn´t a good idea to bring the
old truck instead of the new one! At least I would be more confortable sitting
on leather seats, enjoying the landscape and feeling the AC or heater. Not here!
I´m freezing!
Why on heaven Carlitos didn´t at
least put me on a sweater?
Carmen, be reasonable, it was because
he was trying to hide you. That´s why you are here, don´t you remember? For
God´s sake! You keep forgetting everything! Even that you are dead!
What?!!!
Am I dead?!!!
Noooooo!!! How that happened?
Oh my God! This is unbelievable
Carmen! Now I have to tell you again! Seriously? I know that at your age is
quite difficult keep track with everything and like a grandma you forget things
most of the time… but not remembering that you are dead, honestly, that´s a new
level! Don´t you remember how you died?
No, no really…
Last thing I remember was being at
the cottage sitting by myself, watching the boys playing with the ball and
then, suddenly, I was feeling so tired, so sleepy, so heavy.
My head was turning around in
circles…I closed my eyes…I heard the wind, the trees moving, the birds
singing... slowly I fell sleep and then when I woke up, Carlitos and Mariana were
putting me on this awful suit track that I hate. I didn´t know why. I tried to
talk with them but they didn´t listen to me, I was yelling at them and still
nothing.
Mariana was crying, looking at me
without looking into my eyes…like when someone is doing laundry, her eyes lost.
And Carlitos, he not even turned back; he was just waiting for Mariana. Hurry
up Flaca! Were his last words in my
memory. Then, I woke up here… and I´ve been talking to you since then.
You mean, you´ve been taking to
yourself.
Yes, I guess.
Do you want me to tell you what
happened?
Yes, please…
Wait no… better no, I don´t want to
know, I don´t want to remember.
Are you crying? Please Carmen, don´t
cry again, you are going to make me cry as well.
I´m sorry, it has been a long day for
me, too many things to digest, I mean, not every day you wake up happy
surrounded by your family and later you are dead, alone in a truck, waiting for
some bad guys, hoping they see you and give your body back. What a day, no?
I know, but is ok; everything is
going to be ok Carmen. I promise, time will go by, things will always change,
we will age, but our essence will still remain the same, so, no worries, even
if they never find you, everything will be ok.
…
Carmen, wake up, listen, I know this
would sound crazy, but, have you ever think that perhaps you are not dead?
Because, think about it, how can you still remember chapters about your life,
how can you see those guys, how can you still feel that you are cold? How can
you still be talking to me?
Maybe you are not dead Carmen, maybe
your family didn´t check you well. I
don´t know you, but I´m starting to think that, perhaps you are still alive!
You think so?
Well, It´s a possibility… a good one
for sure! but our main problem is that we are
still here in the truck, without being notice for anyone!
Carmen, look! they are coming back!
The bad fellows, they are coming back to the truck! Ok let´s be focus, is our
chance to get out of here!
It´s show time!
…
